Anonymous Letter:

As the years passed, I find myself reflecting on how expressing love has evolved into something that weighs heavily on my heart. Afraid of losing my girlfriend’s affection, I fell into the trap of using money as a measure of my love. Think it would alleviate problems in my relationship, only to discover the distress it would cause me over time.

THE STRAIN OF MONETIZATION

In the beginning, I thought showering my girlfriend with lavish gifts and indulgent experiences would strengthen our bond. And for a while, it seemed like it did. She was thrilled with the material abundance, and I basked in the joy of seeing her happy. Her IG was now flooded with great locals and restaurants. Yet, as the occasions piled up, I couldn’t help but feel the strain on my finances over the joy of the moment. It was like an endless cycle of spending to prove my love.

FEAR OF LOSING HER

I was terrified that if I didn’t keep up this facade, she would leave, convinced that my love was inadequate. So, I suppressed my concerns and kept opening my wallet, hoping that the gesture of giving would overshadow any other aspect lacking in our relationship. I feared that without the grand gestures, she would see my flaws. And view me as unworthy of her affection.

THE EROSION OF AUTHENTICITY

In my desperation to maintain her love, I lost sight of the genuine connection we once had. Conversations shifted from heartfelt exchanges to discussions about material possessions and trips. I felt like my emotions were slowly fading into the background, replaced by a constant need to impress her with my financial prowess. If I fell back, I felt she would think I was being complacent and taking her for granted.

EMOTIONAL IMBALANCE

As the years went by, the dynamics shifted in our relationship. The expectation to provide financially grew stronger, and I felt trapped, unable to express my feelings freely. I couldn’t be just a good provider, I had to be a fearless ‘Boss Man’. The fear of disappointing her stifled my ability to communicate my own emotional needs, and I became just a provider rather than an equal partner. I never shared my feelings, I never checked my feelings. For all intents and purposes, I no longer had feelings. It was all about maintaining the flow of cash in order to maintain the relationship. That was my sole focus.

LONGING FOR SIMPLICITY AND AUTHENTIC LOVE

Now looking back, I yearn for the simplicity of love before money invaded our relationships.When we were young and naive and all we yearned for was a hand hold or a kiss. I wish I had had the courage to express my concerns and be honest about my financial limitations. Therefore being more authentic to myself, and not a false narrative of a ‘Baller’. I wish I had understood that genuine love transcends monetary wealth and that material possessions should never define our connection. Enhance it sure,but finances shouldn’t be the foundation (at least not for a healthy relationship).

FINDING REDEMPTION IN OPEN COMMUNICATION

The time has come to confront this burden I’ve carried for so long. I need to express my feelings honestly, to share my fears and anxieties about how money became the basis of our affection. I hope that through open communication, we can rekindle the authentic love that once brought us together.

Looking back, I can no longer ignore the distress I endured as a giver, trying to fulfill societal expectations of expressing love through money. I now understand that authentic love does not require a constant parade of expensive gifts but rather an honest and heartfelt connection. It’s time for me to confront my fears and have an open dialogue with my girlfriend, to rekindle the essence of our love that once brought us closer together. Love should not be a silent struggle; it should be a beautiful symphony of emotions and understanding.

Do you agree with the writer? Have a different conclusion? Let’s break the silence!! Leave a comment.

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